We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize