She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
North Korea, Best Korea!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
