You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
