Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
