So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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