is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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