Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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