i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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