Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
