Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
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