I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
wow bdsm is so cute
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
