You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize