I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
