So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
