I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
