I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
