goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
kristin has been a bad kristin
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize