If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
