Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
