Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
