My brain says no but my pants say off.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize