THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
