Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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