I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
