my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
