its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Too much gin, very little bucket
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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