Can Purell be used as lube?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Four minutes until I can fart!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
