I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
