It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize