What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Randomize
