Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
