he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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