Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
