Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
