as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize