So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
