i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
