idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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