Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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