I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
