Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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