Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
