Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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