he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
