Already got asked if we're dating
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
