i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
