oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
