i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
