Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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