i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize