If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize