She's JV to your varsity
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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