is your mom at the bar?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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