I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
