did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
