I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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