I can text with my tongue
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
