Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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