I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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