you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I need a hoe opinion
go on
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
